Amir Levine, Rachel S F Heller
My rating: 4/5
Attached is a book on relationships, especially romantic relationships. It explains the evolutionary advantages to having a partner and how childhood experiences trigger different attachment styles.
Broadly, the book proposes that there are three types of attachment styles: anxious, avoidant and secure. The former two roughly account for a quarter of the population each and the latter accounts for about half.
- Anxious attachment is characterized by a need for reassurance, obsession over the relationship and feeling unworthy of love.
- Avoidant attachment style is characterized by a fear of commitment and intimacy, avoidance of conflict and holding a partner at arms length.
- Secure attachment style entails the ability to communicate well and especially through conflict, the ability to commit and love securely.
Given the attachment styles, the worst combination is avoidant/anxious. If you’re an avoidant or anxious individual you’d be better off partnering with an individual with a secure attachment style. It is also possible to change your attachment style by recognizing one’s insecurities and addressing them.
I loved that the book was backed by research on psychology.